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"You think it's gonna start some billion year war or something?"
―Papa Acachalla[src]

In an averted timeline, the Billion Year War was an event that left Earth (and possibly other planets, and it is hinted several alternate Earths) devastated. While it is unclear what the war actually was about or how long it actually lasted (Acachalla declared it 'a Billion Year War' on the day it started and the characters only seem to have aged ten years, and VenturianTale is well known for exaggerating), it allowed alien tripods to invade the Earth. The soldiers who took part in the war include Papa Acachalla, Josh, Action Charlie, Johnny Ghost, Johnny Toast, Jenny Ghost, Jenny Toast, Dohfe, Roderick, Colon Ghostie, Jerald the Pikachu, Godzilla, Donald Trump, Barry Bee Benson, Detective Trooper, Detective Clone, Pantsuit Woman, an unnamed brigade woman, Infiltrator, Unnamed Sniper #1, Unnamed Sniper #2, Unnamed Sniper #3, Pirate Police Officer, Higgilydiggilyhoogan, Billy Acachalla and Sally Acachalla. The war was prevented by Johnny Toast travelling back in time and assassinating Papa Acachalla before he could start the war.

History[]

Eve of the War[]

Whilst on holiday with his daughter Sally, Papa Acachalla was witness to a tripod appearing out of nowhere and killing a janitor sent to investigate a paranormal bathroom at the hotel he was staying at (the bartender/hotel manager of which looked suspiciously like the future war hero Action Charlie, though it cannot be confirmed that they are the same person). Acachalla grabbed at a sniper rifle the man had found in the bathroom and shot the tripod until it stopped moving and went outside with his drink, leaving Sally to deal with the toilet problem. However, as soon as he left, more tripods started appearing, overrunning the beach and sending Acachalla into a panicked frenzy as he opened fire on them and demanded they send for the military before being overwhelmed.[1][2]

Earth Fallen[]

It is unknown how long the war actually lasted; it is a commonly held belief by the fans that the "billion" in the name is an exaggeration based on both Acachalla giving it that name before the war even began, and the fact that nobody actually knows how long they have been fighting it beyond "a long time". Other theories include a time loop, humanity only entering the war during its final stages (which was later seemingly debunked) and several others.

In any case, most of the war is not directly shown during the series and thus we can only speculate on how it progressed via comments and allusions made during the series. For example, "Tony" states that everything outside the city no longer exists and all trees are gone.

What is known for certain that the little of the world that is shown during the series is seen to be a desolate wasteland. In and around the city desolated buildings lie crumbling, the visibility is vastly reduced as the air is filled with chemicals and has been turned purple, and the ground is scorched and torn. It can be presumed that this is the result of the conflict between humanity and the tripods. 600 miles away from the war zone, however, the town and the desert where Jenny Ghost and Jenny Toast holed up at showed little difference from before the war aside from having a bright red light in the sky.

Initially, it seems that the war was only fought between the humans and the tripods; however, at some point the Bird race got involved in the war and what some believe to be a fourth race identified as "infiltrators" - beings that try to pass themselves off as humans but can be told apart by the double-iris in their eyes.

The Prophecy[]

Corporal Action Charlie was heralded as the last hope for humanity in the final days of the war, saying that he had been named at birth as Corporal Action Charlie The Last Hope For Humanity During The Billion Year War Who Will Save Us All From Ourselves and claiming that his coming was foretold on a sheet of toilet paper recovered from Acachalla's vacation site (it is unknown who wrote it; the owner, upon discovering it, asked the cleaner to have it translated but he was killed before he could complete the task). (He would later reveal to one of Acachalla's clones that the text actually named Acachalla as the last hope shortly before his death). Acachalla did not believe in the prophecy and believed that he himself was the last hope for humanity.

Action Charlie was kidnapped by a rogue human faction known as the Pirates whilst he was out looking for supplies with Acachalla. Acachalla escaped the ambush using respawn and tried to make his way out of the ruined city, dodging tripods and scanners. Meeting two survivors (one possible infiltrator from a battalion, and Josh), and then losing them again when they fell off a roof and knocked themselves out, Acachalla witnessed Action Charlie being shot by a crab creature. This may have been an Infiltrator however as another Charlie showed up moments later and holed up with Acachalla in a small cottage, and Acachalla proved once and for all that he is a better shot on the toilet by killing an invading Pirate member. However, Charlie was shot and fatally wounded by an enemy sniper, though not before divulging the truth about the prophecy to Acachalla.[3]

Mankind Divided[]

Acachalla would shortly after avenged his fallen comrade with the aid of a time-travelling Sally arriving from the past - Sally distracted the sniper long enough for Acachalla to kill the sniper with Charlie's own rocket launcher - the same one that would seemingly kill him minutes later in a tripod battle when it misfired and hit the roof of their base.

Johnny Ghost, secretly working with Sally's Armada against Acachalla and PIE because he believed Acachalla was evil and Sally was good, somehow became aware of Acachalla's death and used it as leverage to create tension between the factions, and ultimately caused an all-out war between the two by killing four members of Sally's armada.

He would later reveal to his companions the reason for his betrayal of PIE and convinced them to join him in the fight. After relaying the story of how the war began to fellow PIE member Dohfe, they were sent to activate a nuclear bomb that was hoped to be strong enough to wipe out the tripods. Unfortunately, the bomb had no remote activation and had to be detonated remotely, requiring someone to stay behind and sacrifice their life, and as the only remaining analogue bomb technician left the responsibility fell to Dohfe.

Ghost and the girl fought off the tripods whilst he prepared the bomb until he was ready and tried to get out of the blast area before it went off. However, they were unable to make it time and were caught in the blast.[1]

Fallback[]

Though the blast did successfully defeat the tripods, without the leadership of Ghost or Toast (the former having been declared missing presumed dead after the explosion and the latter being long since absent working on a top secret project and only communicating via messenger), PIE was ill-equipped to deal with the might of Sally's vastly superior and more technologically advanced forces (having somehow secured the use of headcrabs, zombies, tripods, and even Godzilla). As their leaders refused to consider anything less than victory, they would not negotiate or surrender to them, essentially ensuring their own destruction.

Chris 'Colon' Ghostie, worked within the Armada as an informant by disguising himself as 'Censored Face', the victim of a nuclear explosion that left him horribly deformed and forced to 'censor' his face with a missing texture mask. He was discovered by Armada scientist Higgilydiggilyhoogan snooping around Ghost's crashed car. Hoogan reported this to Sally; Ghostie tried to convince them that Roderick was a traitor but only managed to convince Roderick before Högan revealed that he had seen his name on the inside of his beanie when it went into the wash. His cover blown, Ghostie dropped his disguise and fled, stealing Roderick's 'helicopter' (in actuality a car built to replace the actual helicopter he had misplaced). Sally's forces gave chase in the hope that Ghostie would lead them to one of the few remaining PIE bases.

The assumption paid off and they were led directly to Jenny Ghost and Jenny Toast, who only learned of the Armada's imminent arrival minutes beforehand. Roderick and Gerald the Pikachu greeted them with a mixture of fear and hostility and tried to arrange a truce with the PIE team. Ghost instead instructed Jenny to set Donald Trump on them, only to discover Trump on the other team running over and eating Pikachu before teaming up with Barry Bee Benson to kill the team. They failed and were themselves killed. Roderick tried one more time to try and arrange ceasefires just as Josh showed up and complimented Jenny Ghost's new jacket. He once again failed and they chased him back, only to be turned back when the armada started attacking them. After killing Roderick when he tried to sneak around behind them and shoot Josh, they ran out of ammunition and received what they believed to be a coded message from Toast before retreating to a warehouse to get ammunition, It was clear by this point, however, that the war was drawing to a close and they had little to no chance of winning.[4]

The Last Stand[]

At the site, Josh raced to work on getting a downed tripod working in time to face the armada and to fight their latest weapon - Godzilla. However, work was halted when a sniper opened fire on them, killing at least three employees (a fourth was shot by Josh for blocking their exit). Josh managed to take out the sniper from the garage window by shooting them with a Desert Eagle, a feat considered ludicrous by Jenny Ghost but enough to earn her respect. Whilst scouting out the armada in a car, they came across a man with a sniper rifle driving a death car who had taken control of the town. They tried to convince him to join them, but he refused and demanded they leave. Josh picked them up in a stolen helicopter, though not before Jenny Ghost let the man know her thoughts on him ('I hope Godzilla stands on you and squishes you!').

Dropping off Jenny Toast and Josh back at base, Jenny Ghost took control of the helicopter and engaged Godzilla in battle. Her attacks were ineffective and Ghost's helicopter was destroyed. Acachalla joined up with the only other two remaining PIE members in the area - Jenny Toast and Josh - and tried to stop the fighting by shouting at Godzilla. After Jenny was crushed by Godzilla, Acachalla fired a nuke at him and ran for his life.[5]

Endgame & Time Reversal[]

Acachalla was the only survivor of the blast. He survived by hiding in a fridge (A reference to the movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) before being captured by Sally's forces. As the only remaining PIE member (or so was thought), he was brought to the Waffle Kingdom, to the Royal Court of Queen Sally where she sat on her throne atop a plateau suspended over fake lava. Acachalla refused to bow, prompting the guards to shoot at Acachalla, but Sally bade them to cease and offered Acachalla to spare his life if he would work with her to rebuild the world. Acachalla refused to work with them, refused to even acknowledge that he had lost the war, and attempted to escape before being gunned down by an overzealous guard who was himself summarily executed for his incompetence by another guard (who then revealed himself as Grandpa Sink Supplies and declares he would 'take [Sally] down'). Though the fake lava brought some contention (it made Sally look less "dangerous" and "cool"), the death of Acachalla brought to an end the conflict and left Sally Acachalla the sole ruler of the Earth.

Unbeknown to anyone, Johnny Toast had spent all his time in isolation developing a working time machine, and just as his last PIE base was surrounded by tripods he activated the time machine and sent himself and his two companions back in time to prevent the war from ever starting, later being joined by Grandpa Sink Supplies. Each time failed because Papa kept shooting the first Tripod from the resort. This kept happening over and over and each time got increasingly stranger and different from the original event until eventually Johnny gave up trying to reason with them and killed everyone in the vicinity of the hotel, including Papa, to stop them from killing the Tripod and triggering the war. This left the Johnny Ghost from the new timeline with a massive bill from the Official Council of Time Micromanagement as his many attempts to go back had left the space-time continuum very convoluted and allowed several memes to get through. Toast declared that as he wasn't from their time so he didn't have to pay it and skipped away, leaving Ghost standing outside the hotel on the beach, rather irritated and confused.[2]

Sally, after having to give up the throne due to her prior self returning and mismanaging the Kingdom causing an uprising, was also brought back to the pre-Billion Year War timeline,[6] and later that timeline's Billy would also be revealed to have escaped to the primary timeline via unknown means.[7]

Legacy[]

"See back in the Billion Year War I basically ran everything and I was really cool too 'cause I thought "wow, I'm gonna be able to get everything I ever wanted" and then everyone started hating me, and they start shooting at me, and then I was like "I'm not getting what I want", and I just wanted everybody to shut up, and then they wouldn't and so I was sad all of the time."
―Sally Acachalla recounts her experiences[src]

Despite having never happened in the amended timeline, the impact of the Billion Year War has been keenly felt. Whilst on a mission in South America with Sally to prevent the dinosaurs from starting their own air force, Papa Acachalla tells Fred Spooker that the dinosaur air force is "what starts the Billion Year War".[8] Billy Acachalla from that timeline crossed over into the main timeline briefly and reported that things were going pretty well despite everyone being dead[6].

Theories[]

Possible appearances in other videos[]

In one instance, two people as are seen fleeing a group of tripods along the coastline.[9] It is possible that this takes place during the Billion Year War as it takes place during a seemingly post-apocalyptic world and has Tripods.

How long was the Billion Year War really?[]

Though plant-life seems to be around and the world seems in better condition than in The Billion Year war series it could be at the beginning of the war. More evidence that it takes place near the start of the war is the existence of a safe zone which could be because the Tripods had less territory than in later events. It is unknown who these two characters are but it could be Action Charlie and Gertrude before the war starts. Another theory is that it takes place only a couple hours after the war starts as Action Charlie and Gertrude escape from the resort that Papa Acachalla and the others were at as the war started as the terrain in this video is near a beach and Action Charlie might have been the bartender at the resort.

Something that disproves this theory is the fact that Gertrude wasn't seen in the Billion Year War suggesting that she was far way from the rest of the group and or killed before or after the war started so it is unlikely that she escaped the Tripod army and survived into later events such as this video. Though it could be explained by the absence of a safe-zone in the Billion Year War saga as it could have been destroyed by the Tripods and Gertrude could have died in the attack. Or it could be the fact that these people are not previously known characters or that Corporal Action Charlie isn't in this video explaining why Gertrude wasn't seen at the resort when the war started if she escaped with Action Charlie.

The most likely theory is that Gertrude was still at home in Little Butts North Carolina when the war started and not in the resort and so escaped with this unknown character and stuck with him for the entirety Billion Year War saga. This theory could explain the plant-life, the safe zone, and why Gertrude wasn't in the Billion Year War series as she was off rebuilding society or heading to the safe zone with this elusive character during the Billion Year War Saga.

Known participating factions[]

The Brigade[]

This faction sent out an unnamed woman to find Action Charlie and Papa Acachalla. It is also where the woman's 9 cousins are, who all have military training.

Papa Acachalla's Army[]

The survivors fighting under Papa Acachalla's command. After his death the movement merged into the PIE Army. 

Sally's Armada[]

Survivors fighting under Sally's command. Includes zombies and headcrabs. All human members wear pantsuits. The armada also have helicopters and APCs at their disposal. this makes them the most well-armed faction of the Earth resistance seen so far. In fact, the armada was powerful enough to become the sole faction to control the Earth, resulting in the creation of the Waffle Kingdom.

PIE Army[]

An army of ghost hunters led by Johnny Ghost until his supposed death. It is presumably led by Johnny Toast, who has gone into hiding. They were wiped out by Papa Acachalla's nuke. 

Ancient enemy[]

An unknown species dropped several tripods and other soldiers onto the planet. The enemy of the Earth Resistance. A Higgilydiggilyhoogan clone said that the aliens are the tripods themselves, though this is later disproven by Josh taking control of one. The aliens are also seen using other aliens, as well as floating scanners that seek out the Enemies and scout locations and are capable of opening doors without touching them.

Pirates/Raiders[]

Human survivors that attack and kill others for their ammo, food, and water and patrol the wastelands, occasionally seen behaving as a kind of military police working for some unknown force presumably trying to seize power. 

Infiltrators[]

A seemingly neutral faction of beings who look like whatever species they are infiltrating the faction of, but with two irises and pupils in each eye. It is unknown why they infiltrate other factions but they don't seem to want to attack the Earth Resistance, one of them even tried to help Acachalla find Action Charlie but ended up dying from falling. 

The Birds[]

The Birds are an alien species that can change between human and bird form. They are allied with the Earth Resistance.

Appearances[]

Trivia[]

  • Due to some of the raiders wearing the uniforms of Combine soldiers, it is possibly that they raided a police station for their armour. Or the Combine took part in the War.
  • It is unknown whether the Infiltrators are aliens, androids, or something else, but they are most likely able to shape-shift.
  • It was revealed in the second episode that Papa Acachalla was the one who started the war by killing one of the tripods.
  • At least 4 people are known to have escaped the war by time travelling to a point before the war - this includes Sally Acachalla, Sink Supplies, Johnny Toast (and possibly his 2 compatriots Detective Trooper and Gas Mask Guy), and Billy Acachalla.
  • Dofhe was presumably a spelling mistake made by Ultimate Weapon (a commenter), and could be presumed they meant "Sofie".
    • This "Sofie" could have been intended to be the unnamed brigade soldier.
    • It is also possible that the commenter was asking for the series to feature Sofie Aradur.

References[]

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