Thread:TheLoneClone/@comment-25867149-20150924130000/@comment-27182540-20151104164421

Here's scene two as well.

SCENE 2: USS Who’s Your Mama 2 – Bridge

PICARD: Captain! We’ve got an incoming projectile!

Quickly, Maloney runs to Picard’s display screen.

MALONEY: Holy hot sauce! That’s one big…er, whatever that is!

PICARD: That, Captain, is a missile.

Maloney strokes his chin, trying to hide his embarrassment at not knowing what a missile was. He is, after all, a Starfleet captain.

MALONEY: Oh, erm, yes. It looks to be of a…Galactic Empire-class missile.

After scrolling through the ship’s starboard databases, Picard spins around in his chair.

PICARD: By George, you’re right, Captain! It’s a missile from the Galactic Empire.

Maloney peeks his head around Picard’s to check out the viewscreen.

MALONEY: I was? You mean there really is a Galactic Empire-class missile?!?

PICARD: (nods) Yes, sir. I’m pretty surprised too. (mumbles) And I’m surprised that you’re right.

Maloney turns around, turning on his communicator.

MALONEY: All crew, this is Captain Maloney of the USS Who’s Your Mama speaking.

From behind the captain, a young crewman shouts out.

CREWMAN: We know!

MALONEY: We are about to take on a dangerous foe. The most dangerous foe in the galaxy, in fact. We are going to face off against the villainous Galactic Empire and rid the galaxy of their terror for good. And I just want each of you men—and women—to know that I couldn’t wish to do it beside a more valiant crew. Thank you for your service.

From the comm system, an irritated woman’s voice sounds.

WOMAN: Listen, you jerk. If this is some kind of intergalactic prank, then just stuff your head up my exhaust port and shut it!

Maloney gulps, becoming embarrassed…once again.

MALONEY: Wha—? Who is this?!

WOMAN: This is Burger King, you idiot!

Maloney shuts off the comm, slumping into his chair.

MALONEY: Whoops…my mistake.