Fan: Medic vs Billy

'''After 70 hours of TF2 (Really, look at my Steam account. I spend way too much on video games), some VenturianTale, 2 hours straight of listening to Erectin' a River, and looking at DA fanart, this popped in my mind. Cover medic by 2Dark on DeviantArt. He makes amazing TF2 fanart. Last, I used Google Translate. The German parts may not be 100% correct. '''

Turn back now before you die of canCER

Sincerely, Mah Mexican Hat.

Chapter One
Papa was sitting on his prized possession, his living room couch, watching C.I.S Miami (Aka "The Game"). Gertrude cooked waffles on her stove (That was in flames), with a crazed look as Sally repeatedly screamed "WAFFLEZ! I WANT WAFFLEZ!". "GERTRUDE, SUE GOT INTO MEH BOOZE!" Papa yelled. "It's shampoo!" Sue threw the bottle onto the floor, exploding and leaving Papa flying out the window. "WAFFLES WAFFLES WAFFLES!"

"QUIET!" Gertrude screamed, leaving everyone in the room quiet and staring at her. "I..Have had enough stress! You all...are constantly wanting ME to do ALL the work!" She looked at Papa, who crawled back into the window, "I..Am taking a vacation!" She said. "What?! Whose gonna make me dinner and give me root beer?" "Whose gonna give me wafflez?" "WHOSE GONNA REFILL MY SHAMPOO?!". "Dunno, don't care." She said and hauled two suitcases out the door, leaving the family in awe. "Well..Um.." Papa muttered. He shrugged. "I guess I can..get my paycheck from the 7-11.." He sighed. "Oh..And I need to cook.." He frowned as he looked at the stove (Sue was taking out the fire with a bottle of shampoo) "And.." He gazed at the television in horror, "Pay..The electric bills.." He let out a sigh, but Billy came down the stairs. "What happened?" He said, half asleep. "Billy! That's it!" "That's what?" Papa grabbed his shoulders. "I heard on the newspaper that there's some doctor who needs an assistant, and since you're going to medical school.." He grinned. Billy stood there with a dumbfounded look. Papa frowned, "You're getting a job as a nurse." "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY-Wait, what?" He already found himself outside the door. "And don't come back until you have 2,000 Acachalla dollars!" he said and slammed the door. Billy gulped, looking at the newspaper. "Gibus Street...Tuefort.." He said, Little Butts N.C was thousands of miles away from Mexico. "Well, off to the hospital I go!"

Suddenly, Tito Dick man baby arrived. "HE RAISED PHIL" Billy screamed. "LOVES THE LADIES"