Fan: Jeffery Toast

Being insane isn't so bad. I mean, it sucks, but you can get all the toast you want! Tell me that's not awesome. I should introduce myself. I'm Jeffery Dallas, toast extraordinaire. My home is this special camp with lots of special people like me. Not that they're insane, but they're this thing called demigods. They are the children of the Greek gods. You know, like Zeus and Poseidon? Well not so much as those two, but you get the picture. I'm something called a legacy, where two demigods have a little demigod, like an Athena child and a Poseidon kid. Then their kid shared their powers, but on a smaller scale. I'm a crossover of an Athena boy and a Demeter girl. My powers would be a mixture, so I am wise and smart from Athena and I can make things grow with my Demeter powers. Even after Percy Jackson, the most famous Greek demigod in this millennium, and his friends: Leo Valdez, Frank Zhang, Jason Grace, Hazel Levesque, Piper McLean, and his girlfriend Annabeth, also known as "The Heroes of Olympus", destroyed Gaea the earth goddess, being a half-blood is still dangerous. With a little help from another insane demigod named Octavian, a Roman demigod, who accidentally kamikazeed himself into the the airborne battle of Leo Valdez, Festus, and Gaea, and caused an explosion of Imperial Gold big enough to destroy the Earth goddess. This also killed Leo, but he had hid a vial of the Physician's Cure, a life reviving liquid, in his bronze dragon to bring him back if  he had died. Then he rode Festus into the sunset to retrieve his girlfriend Calypso from her island, Ogygia. But that's not important right now, because this story is all about me and my journey to craziness. Let's get started, shall we?

Chapter 1: First Moments == == When I was born, all of the ground burst with budding flowers. This tripped my dad, Malcolm Dallas from the Athena cabin. My puny face was scrunched up, red and wet. I screamed as loud as my tiny lungs would allow, as my skull bones tried to go back into place to support my teeny brain. Even as a newborn I had a blonde Afro. My mom, Bloom Colonus, smiled, crying and laughing at the same time. She held me tight, and kissed my head, rocking me gently.

"What's his name, ma'am?" The doctor asked.

"Jeffrey," she said.

"No middle name?" He asked again.

"How about.... Fletcher?" Malcolm asked.

"Sure!" Bloom said, shrugging.

"So, I'll just put Jeffrey Fletcher Dallas or Colonus on the birth certificate?" The doctor, Will Solace asked.

"Let's put Dallas," Malcolm said.

Bloom agreed. And so I was named Jeffrey Fletcher Dallas. Will fed me some ambrosia to help the pain. I stopped crying, and looked at my surroundings. I was in the Infirmary at Camp Half Blood. I squeezed Bloom's index finger so I wouldn't go back the way I came. I didn't know it at the time, but I was born in the cubicle right next to the one that Annabeth Chase was having her first baby too, Percy squeezing her hand comforting her through the pain.

Chapter 2: Childhood == == Growing up in Camp Half Blood was hilariously fun. Climbing the lava/smashing together/death trap rock wall was one of my favourites. Another one would be deep-lake diving with my best friend Bob Jackson, the son of Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase and Enchiladas Underwood, the son of Juniper the tree nymph and Grover Underwood. He's a satyr. We spend our weekends in New Rome down in California. Camp Half Blood is in New York, right next to the Olympus entrance, the Empire State Building. Percy and Annabeth are my Uncle and Aunt, and so is Grover and Juniper. Well, Grover isn't really my uncle, but he's so close to Percy and Annabeth that I just call him Uncle Grover.

Uncle Percy says that Bob was named after the Titan Iapetus because he had guided them out of Tartarus and sacrificed himself fighting the actual pit god himself. Uncle Percy had wiped Iapetus's memory and renamed him Bob the Titan. That explains why their kid was named Bob in his honor. Enchiladas was named that because Uncle Grover used to, and still does, love enchiladas. We don't call Bob Bob, we talk to him with his middle name, Garrett. Bob just makes us laugh because it's so generic. Garrett, however, we can say with a straight face.

My dad Malcolm, he's Annabeth's half brother, so I'm related to them, which is awesome! You might think I'm a snob because I'm related to someone famous, but he never pampered us like that. He was like the awesome grandpa that skateboards and plays Call of Duty. Garrett's and my parents live in New Rome so that they can go to college. We stay here in the summers to train and junk.

Once, during one of the games of capture the flag, we had to play against the older demigods, Conor and Travis Stoll, the twins of Hermes, and Clarisse La Rue the daughter (not so sure) of Ares. It was the best out of three, and it was 1 to 1, and Garrett and I were on guard duty. He was right next to the creek, so he could control the waters, and I was on Zeus's Fist. Well, what was left of it. It was destroyed in the Battle of the Labyrinth when all the monsters came out like Kampè. Now all that was left was a crater. Anywho, I heard Garrett call my name for help. I heard a thwap! And then I saw Garrett flying over the trees, flailing wildly. A series of snorts and laughs reached my ears, and I knew it was Clarisse, the arch enemy of Uncle Percy. I abandoned my post of guard to help him.

Coming up to her, I knew that I shouldn't have abandoned my post. She was at least 6' 10" and looked as mean as her daddy. She was holding her spear, Maimer II. She turned and snarled like a lion, protecting its kill. I took it out my weapon, the Boomstick. It was in hammer form, so I stepped on it, so I was standing on the back like a scooter. I willed it to fly forward at Clarisse. Raising the two-handed sledgehammer over my head, I hurtled at her, and I swung down with all my strength.

She crumpled like a tin foil ball, unconscious. Boomstick turned back into a grenade launcher. I ran to a clearing and shot a launch grenade at the floor under me to propel me over the trees. I spotted Garrett, in a pile of giant scorpion dung. I launched a flare at him, letting Chiron know where he was and that he was hurt.

Then I went back to Zeus's Fist. But the flag wasn't there. I saw the backs of Travis and Conor Stoll running with the flag in their hands.

"YABADABADOO!!!" A voice yelled.

Enchiladas jumped out of a tree and sailed toward the Stoll twins. I looked away right before he hit, but I didn't hear impact of horn on human. Just satyr on ground. I looked up to see Enchiladas with a mouth full of dirt.

"What happened?" He asked me.

"I don't know, I looked away right before you hit them." I told him.

"I thought for sure I was going to hit them on the noggin, but I passed straight through them. Almost like they weren't there!"

We heard someone burst into laughter behind us. Whirling around, we saw it was Travis and Conor, giggling with glee at their own cleverness.

"Sorry Enchy!," Conor said, or was it Travis?

"We just wanted to try out our new power!" The other twin said. "We've unlocked the ability to make a Mist image of ourselves, thanks to Hermes!"

"We thought this would be the best time to try it out."

Some fireworks shot into the air and burst, tuning the dark sky blue. The older demigods had won. The Mist Stoll brothers were still running until they ran into a tree and dissipated. On our walk to the dinner Pavilion, Conor and Travis told us that we did a good job, and that I must've hit Clarisse pretty hard to knock her out. Behind us, Chiron had Garrett on his back and was helping Grover carry Clarisse on a gurney.

Chapter 3: The Newbie == == Dinner that night was delicious. Pulled pork sandwiches with BBQ sauce, Dr. Pepper and Hawaiian King bread rolls. I got up with Garrett to sacrifice some of it into the fire. I heard Garrett whisper 'to Hermes,'. I didn't get that, but I just sacrificed my roll to Demeter and some of my pork to Athena. Demeter likes bread and stuff like cereal. I returned to my table with Garrett and continued eating. Chiron stomped his hooves and pronounced:

“Heroes! I am most happy to announce that we have some new additions to our camp. We have gotten a girl named Emerald and most unfortunately, she is undetermined.”

Murmurs spread like wild fire. A riot arose at the Hermes table, so Conor and Travis had to shut them up by throwing M&M’s on the table. Travis’s pet pig Bacon flew out of nowhere and ate all of the candies. He was so hungry, he ate half of the table. The next morning they had bacon for breakfast. Not Bacon, though, his buddy Sausage, which was Conor’s pig. Not satisfied, they ate McDonald, the camp cow and then drank Half-Blood Lake. Then they had KFC the camp chicken, and Thanksgiving the turkey. Then they ate Hunter the deer. And then Rainbow the peacock. And then Farts the pony. They had bad breath for a week after him. And then Pluto the dog. And then Ramen the noodle. And then Mutton the sheep. And then Sprinkles the donut. And then Calamari the squid. And then Spongebob the pineapple. And then Patrick the starfish. And then Larry the lobster. And then they exploded and everyone was fine in their tummy’s. (P.S. I’m insane, so don’t judge).

Anyways, they controlled the riot and the the new demigod sat down uncomfortably. She had curly jet black hair and startling green eyes. She looked as if she had been working on a farm all her life.

"Where is her protecter?" A voice said from the Athena table.

“He’s in the Infirmary, recovering from a hell-hound attack. He will be better soon.” Chiron said.

Coach Gleeson Hedge stood up and growled “He’d better be”.

With that, he ran toward the Infirmary. The rest of dinner was quiet. After the scene at the Pavillion, we headed toward the camp fire. A daughter of Hestia lit the fire. Today, it was bright yellow, which meant that we were happy, at least a majority of us. The Hermes kids were grumbling and groaning about the new demigod. Even when the Apollo kids sang "The Cow Theif", a song about Hermes, they halfheartedly sang. Everyone except Travis and Conor. They kept throwing M&M's at the campers that weren't singing.

After the s'mores, me and Garrett trudged back to the Athena cabin.

"What do you think of her? The new kid?" Garrett asked me.

"She seems nice, but I'm worried about Chuck." I replied.

"Me too. I wonder what her parent is." He said.

"She's most likely a Demeter kid. She looks like one."

Garrett coughed, "You just want her in our cabin don't ya?"

"Pfft! No, she just looks like she's been working on the ground recently, maybe gardening or farming."

"Yeah... Sure she does," Garrett said sarcastically.

"I'm serious! I don't even know her yet! I barely saw her, and I don't know her last name!" I said.

"Excuses, excuses." He said with a smirk.

"Shut up Bob." I said.

"She looks like she fell from a tree."

"How did Coach Hedge blend in with the Athena kids?" I said, changing the subject.

"I don't kno- blah blah blu bla blah." Garrett replied.

I was focusing on another thing, so I didn't understand what he said. I saw a figure coming at us with an incredible speed for its size.

"NEPHEW BOB! NEPHEW JEFFREY!" The thing bellowed.

It picked us up in a huge bear hug.

"Uncle Tyson. Good to see you. Please don't break my back again." Garrett said.

“Again?” I asked, worried.

Uncle Tyson set us down. He wasn’t really my uncle, he was Uncle Percy’s half-brother. He was also a cyclops. Yup, that’s right. One calf brown eye smack dab in the middle of his forehead. He was probably about 8 feet tall. He looked surprisingly, he was taller than another half-blood named Thorne Phillips. Being the son of Apollo, he was lanky and tall. 7 foot tall exactly.

Anyways, Uncle Tyson set us down and looked at us with his big calf-brown eye.

“Happy birthday nephew Bob, happy birthday nephew Jeffrey!!!” he said excitedly.

“Uncle Tyson, our birthday is next week,” Garrett said. “Your a week early.”

“Oh. So that’s why pretty Ella said don’t go… Sorry nephews!” With that, he bounded away into the lake.

Chapter 4: The Quest == == We finally got back to the cabin and flopped down on the soft beds of the Athena cabin. The smell of the old paper was intoxicating. The turning of pages lulled me to sleep, where I was soon met with a nightmare.

At first, it wasn’t so bad. I was in a huge baby blue room, filled with nothingness. Then, out of nowhere, a giant Oreo cookie was running at me. I started running away from it. It was soon gaining on me, and right before it ran over me, the scene changed to me falling down a pit, and then it swapped scenes again, showing a falling blue, old timey call box, like the ones Superman changed in, me falling into a mirror, and a creepy, see through man with a bloody knife.

I woke with a cold sweat and hit my head on the bunk above me, where Garrett was sleeping.

“Coming mother!! Wait.. what happened?” Garrett said groggily.

“Sorry man, didn’t mean to wake you up. I just had the craziest dream.” I apologized.

I told him about the dream I had, but i didn’t tell him the last images. He said that he had the same dream, only he was chased by a giant Cheerio.

"Ok... This is starting to freak me out." I said.

“Yeah, me too. Let’s ask Chiron” Garrett said.