Fan: The Acachalla Legends

Papa Acachalla entered the room. He had two giant chunks of aetherium tied onto his back, ready to trade with locals. Jimmy Casket was sitting in the middle of the room, staring at the fire place.

"Did you bring the stuff?" Jimmy asked, taking a sip of red wine and swaying the liquid inside the glass around like a James Bond movie.

"You better believe it." he said, cutting the rope off his back. The two giant blocks fell to the ground, making Jimmy's glass shake. Jimmy grinned, before snapping his fingers. Three slendermen appeared in a cloud of black smoke, shooting their tentacles at Papa and sending him flying to the wall.

"ZOO WEE MAMA!" he screams and breaks his gentle back. Jimmy chuckled, getting up from his chair and inspecting the two blue chunks of chunky goodness.

"I trusted you!" Papa grunted, coughing up blood on the floor. Jimmy grinned and spoke in Daedric, his minions carrying the chunks to his underground lab.

"Nothing personal... Just buisness." he frowned, pulling out a silenced shotgun from his pocket. Suddenly, the ceiling exploded and UNIT swarmed the building. "Oh sh-"

Jimmy's head was vaporized by an officer in power armor, who wielded a laser rifle. Papa was taken off the scene by medics, while they placed C4 on the door to the basement and blew it off. They entered, finding enslaved slendermen and gingerians putting the blue cubes inside of a strange oven.

"Halt right the-"

Suddenly, they shut said oven door and it glowed blue. The portal frame they strangely didn't notice sparked up, growing a red screen of portalness.

"What the hell is that?" an officer asked, keeping his sights on the portal. "Looks like a Level 15 portal device. We need to shut this do-"

"Zoo wee mama!"

"What was that?"

Thousands of tentacles left the portal, grabbing soldiers and tering them in half. Power armored soldiers opened fire with their miniguns, but were sliced in half by sharp french fry-tentacles. The officers inside threw plasma grenades inside, while attempting to escape. A round brain-like being hovered out of the portal, massacring the unit soldiers while they helplessly fought back

"We got an Eldritch on our hands! Call the foundation!" General Smootybobkens screamed, running up the stairs while engineers attempted to weld the vault door shut. Suddenly, everyone in the building exploded, painting the mansion red (and green).

The eldritch being laughed, consuming the corpses of fallen UNIT soldiers. The surviving slendermen, gingerians, and officers fell to their knees, begging for mercy. The being nodded, accepting them their continued lively hood and claiming them as slaves. His other minions entered through the portal, saddened to see that their Master got all the action.

"Sire, should we bring the new recruits back to Mothership?" a wasp-like soldier asked, speaking through morse code.

"Yes. Thank you for asking, soldier." the being said, then floating up the stairs and seeing the carnage he caused with his brain powers.

"Pity, our benefactor is dead." the being sighed, seeing Jimmy's headless corpse.

outside

"Papa, what where you doing in that building?"

"I whus eating lamb chops?! I dindu noffin!" Papa said.

"Alright. According to Jimmy's Internet history, he was trying to summon the ancient outer god Boo Zee Swama. There's only one person who can help us with this."

"who"

"Indiana Jones, that's who."