James Maloney

Not to be confused with Captain Maloney.Officer Maloney is a Police Officer that appeared regularly in Gmod videos. He wears a police uniform, and is known to own a squirt gun and a bubble gun, as his right to carry actual weapons was revoked by the police force. He is also revealed to be a bird-alien hybrid in the Squirt Gun Mod video. He grew up in Malaysia and was a part of the VenturianTale Character Tournament in 2014.

It is revealed in VenturianMail 23 that Maloney has an Asian brother who may be the son of his adopted parents, since he grew up in Malaysia. His real father is Gregory.Gregory.

It appears Maloney has finally been able to use legitimate firearms on a regular basis. Whether his superiors allow this or not is unknown.

In the 2014 Thanksgiving special, Officer Maloney died. He sacrificed himself to restore reality and deactivate the portal to the 13th Dimension. The impact of both dimensions converging disintegrated him. But even today he is still remembered by many as a hero.

In Maloney's absence, Higgilydigglyhögen (and all of his clones) has become the enforcers of the law in Butts, N.C.. This new police force forced the Acachallas to move into Officer Maloney's old home.

Early Years
Maloney was a member of the Bird race travelling to Earth on a spaceship with his father, Gregory.Gregory. However, the spaceship crashed and Maloney fell out and ended up becoming adopted by a couple from Malaysia, where he would grow up with his half-brother. Gregory, however, and his people never stopped looking for him and spent the 20 intervening years between their next meeting searching for him.

Joining the Police
During Maloney's early years as cop and detective, he was deemed far to incompetent to Wield an actual fire arm, and instead used bubble and squirt guns.

The FBI Years
Somehow Maloney become an FBI agent and was given legitimate weaponry. One of his mission being to obtain The Floating Gun of the Aztecs, but after one of his teammates became a unicorn after touching the gun Maloney and the other agent were overwhelmed. After 12 days of battle Maloney eventually killed the unicorn, at the cost of his men and his sanity.

Hidden Heritage
Maloney was sent to Gregory.Gregory's retirement island, armed with a taser, to investigate possible illegal activities. Maloney found Gregory's manner suspicious and frequently subjected him to the taser. Gregory showed him around the island in order to rebuke the allegations, but piqued his curiosity by telling him not to go in the only normal-looking hous on the entire building. Despite this, Maloney broke into the house and discovered scanning equipment, which Gregory insisted was for tracking mole-rats. Eventually Gretory was forced to reveal the truth about himself and Maloney: The tracking station was used to track down Maloney in order to bring him back to his real father. Gregory proved himself by transforming into a bird.

Death
During one thanksgiving day, officer Maloney had become depressed because the most of his legendary earth bird species including his parents had died. Suppressing his sorrow by becoming drunk on gravy, officer Maloney was still on the job and had to go on a call to the Acachalla residence. Once there, Maloney faced the wrath of a gigantic chicken but fended it of. Informed that a breach between the 13th dimension and earth had been created, Maloney and other came to Spencer for assistance. Told that the only way to close the reach was for a legendary earth bird to bind the ripple in reality. Maloney bravely volunteered just as the situation was becoming uncontrollable, but was crushed by the force to two dimensions colliding.

Maloney's death was taken to to be legitimate by most of the characters, with the Acachalla family moving into Maloney's old home (albeit temporarily), and Higgilydiggilyhögen taking role as the law in Butts, North California.

Return
It was eventually revealed that Maloney had come Back from the Dead, but was stranded in the 13th Dimension for quite a time. When noticing an asteroid heading to Earth with a house on it. Maloney boarded the rock and insisted the residents of the rock, the Alternate Acachalla Family, to abandon their home to survive. However Mary the puppet did not see to reason and killed Maloney shortly after his arrival. It was revealed that the meteor was never going to hit Earth, and it can be presumed the Officer respawned on Earth.

Maloney was among Venturian's Champions sent to face off Baymax in the 7-11. Maloney was called in after Papa Acachalla was defeated (and quite possibly killed); After seeing how much weirdness was going on at the 7-11, he arrested himself and left it to PIE.

Maloney briefly returned in the HOMELESS OLD CHICA!! | Gmod Five Nights At Freddy's Nightmare Chica (Garry's Mod) video. He randomly appeared in an internet café to arrest Chica for not peeing. However, he had a heart attack from eating too many burgers and died once again.

Maloney was spotted on a prison on Mars in the future guarding Spencer and Stardust Sprinkleshine. The prisoners led an insurrection and took over the prison, taking Maloney hostage and locking him in his office. They still couldn't escape, however, as there was no way to leave the prison until a transport arrived.

Appearance
Maloney wears a police officer hat, jacket, and shirt. He has a blue jacket and blue pants. He also is seen carrying a revolver, a squirt gun and a taser. He was once an FBI agent and can transform into a bird.

Personality
He is a law enforcement officer from the city of Lawtown, North Dakota. He is efficient and level-headed, even if he can be a bit prone to making mistakes. He doesn't show fear towards suspects even if he is forced to use a squirt gun. However, the "I'm a Bird" song by Cierra Frye made him speechless. Upon listening to the "I'm a Bird" song by Cierra, the lyrics were powerful enough to unearth hidden ability in his DNA. Since that point, he has been able to transform into a large black bird. Upon further inspection of his DNA, one can find traces of a mysterious and strange avian species from beyond the stars. He cannot usually be trusted with active firearms. In his earlier years as a policeman, he was forced to use a bubble gun. Luckily for him, he became trustworthy enough for an upgrade to a squirt gun. Unfortunately, he is bad at his job, which later causes his untimely demise.

Gregory.Gregory
Gregory.Gregory is Maloney's father. He helped Maloney realize his powers to turn into a bird.

He is also know to have been a friend of the Acachallas.

Officer Maloney's wife
Maloney's wife (and currently his widow) can also transform into a bird. It is possible she is a disgruntled McDonalds worker and ex-cheerleader who went rampant, however she never appears onscreen (or if she did, it was not picked up on).

Sloppy Joe
Sloppy Joe considers Maloney a young troublemaker and tries to shoot him with a shotgun, and also caused his car to disappear in a lightning shower.

Officer Baloney
Officer Baloney was Maloney's temporary replacement when he was killed in his first assignment. How he came Back from the Dead is unknown.

The Acachalla Family
Maloney regarded the Acachalla family with a manner of distrust, always believing (rightly) that they were up to something, although he later went in to share mutual admiration and respect for the family. The Acachalla's lived in his house for a while after their previous house was airbombed by Higgilydiggilyhogen.

Quotes

 * "Right, likely story... or IT COULD BE... Something evil."
 * (on being asked to have spit smeared in his face to get into the InGen building) "Sure thing, sounds good."
 * "My name is Officer Maloney."
 * "You are under arrest!"
 * "The only reason they gave it to me is because I'm so good at my job."
 * "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING UP MY DEAD PARENTS!?"
 * "I won't lie to you, I have been drinking a little..."
 * "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (last words)

Trivia

 * At first, Maloney was a police officer, then an FBI agent, and then he was revealed to be a bird. He "waddled" away with a fellow bird into the sunset. He was absent for a long time since the Squirt Gun mod video, but appeared elsewhere, meaning he transformed back into Maloney.
 * Ever since he had gained the ability to transform into a bird, he has been eating bird seeds at home and does not know that the strange bird with which he walked into sunset may be the cause of this incident at his own home and now he owns two houses. The first house is on a house and now has a wife which is a bird (he does not know it). The second house is just a normal house that from the inside may look like crazy and sometimes it looks like just a normal house that has a small house (it is a bird house for small/young birds that don't know how to fly) inside a proper house.
 * He might have some relation and/or be the same person as Captain Maloney.
 * In the Gmod Zoroark Pokemon episode, Mr. No was keeping him captive. Although this may be apart of Zoroark's Paranormal powers.
 * In the TERRIBLE POLICE OFFICERS! Gmod Police Car mod video, it is revealed that on his birthday, his Mother made him a cake made of Baloney and ketchup.
 * In that same episode, he was killed by Saw Blades in a hospital. This also caused Golden Freddy's death.
 * He was called in HAPPY THANKSGIVING! The VenturianTale Thanksgiving Special (Garry Mod) by Gertrude to get rid of a problem, but later he found out that he wasn't needed.
 * He died in the thanksgiving special somehow even though he died before, this is likely because of the lack of continuity in Gmod episodes or having the ability to come back from the dead.
 * He claimed in the Thanksgiving special his father was from the planet of birds and went to earth to get him but was killed on re-entry, which traumatized him severely and caused him to burst into tears when his alien/bird heritage was brought up.
 * as ghost found out in ZOROARK Pokémon mod, he and Suzie are of the same race, though it is unknown if they are family.
 * He has an ex-girlfriend.
 * The Acachalla family move into his house in the Bugs Bunny Mod. The house is infested with Bugs Bunnies, is covered in bird poop and has birds in the cupboards who are apparently his children. Interestingly he is stated as having allowed the Acachalla's to stay in the house whilst he is "out of town", despite being killed in the 2014 Thanksgiving Episode.