Fan: Family

Chapter 1
It was the average afternoon in the Acachalla household. Papa Acachalla was slouched over in his couch, staring intently at the television as a game of football played on the screen. Billy and Sally were sitting on the floor on the dark room next to the couch, playing with Barbie dolls. Gertrude was cooking dinner in the kitchen, probably trying to put out a fire spurting from one of the pots on the stove.

The doorbell rang. It went unnoticed by the entire family. Sally was too busy making Barbie propose to Ken with a pile of plastic waffles. Papa Acachalla still had his eyes glued to the television, and Gertrude couldn't hear anything over the hissing that came from various pots on the stove.

The doorbell rang once more. Gertrude turned back towards the door, immediately regretting it as another fire burst from a wooden spoon that was a bit too close to the stove. "Acachalla, honey!" She called as she quickly took the spoon to the sink, turning the faucet on over it. "Could you get the door!?" However, Papa Acachalla was still staring at the television, his face blank and focused.

The doorbell rang another time. Not even the kids could get it after their door-answering privileges were confiscated after an incident involving butter and a small computer. However, Gertrude was fed-up with this. After slapping the last fire into submission with a dish rag, she stormed off to the dining table where her crowbar lay, taking it in her hand. Dish rag in one hand, crowbar in the other, she walked up to Papa Acachalla in the other room.

"Whaddaya want, woman?" He asked without looking at her. She swung her crowbar at the wall just above Acachalla's head, a crash resounding through the house.

"Door. Now." She demanded. Acachalla nervously looked up to his wife and he saw the furious look in her eyes. "I'm going, I'm going, woman!" He yelped, pushing himself out of his couch and jogging to the door, the kids watching curiously.

Papa Acachalla opened the door to a man with a strangely serious smile in a suit. "If yer gonna sell me somethin', forget about it." Papa Acachalla growled, slamming the door. Or at least trying to, as the man was leaning forwards on the door, pushing it open.

"Oh I don't think so, Mister Acachalla." He said sternly. "I'm a social worker. And you have a bit of explaining to do regarding your children."

Papa Acachalla looked at him nervously. "Err, well, I'll be right back!" He said, quickly pushing the door closed. "SALLY, BILLY!" He yelled.

Billy got up, peeking from out of the television room. "Yeah, Papa?" He asked.

"Get in the basement! And take Sally with you!" Papa Acachalla shouted frantically. Billy, surprisingly enough, didn't ask any questions. He took Sally, dashing down the hall towards the trap door that lead to the basement as his younger sister asked if the basement had waffles.

Papa Acachalla opened the door again to the man. "Err, may I help you?" He asked, just as Gertrude walked up to Acachalla, her crowbar swinging passively at her side in her hand. "Okay, what's going on here?"

"Ah, Miss Acachalla." He smiled. "Perfect timing. Now let's discuss your children."

"You mean Sally and Billy?" She asked.

The man nodded, never breaking eye contact with the Acachalla and Gertrude. "Indeed. We have reports if gunfire, screaming, explosions, and even cars inside the walls of your house." He pulled out a file from a bag at his side. "What also concerns us is your children's school files." He handed the pale yellow file to Papa Acachalla, who opened it, knowing that any other action would not end too well.

"...It's empty." He said.

"And that is exactly what concerns us!" The man said, raising his voice. "We have warned you several times before. Are you certain that you and your wife are fit for being parents?"

Acachalla grimaced, letting Gertrude pipe in. "Of course! We've made it this far, right?" She said, her only response from Acachalla being a quick grunt.

"Mister and Miss Acachalla, this is your last warning." The man said. "I'll be back in a week, and unless you managed to clean up your act, I'm afraid we'll have to look for new parents for your children."

Acachalla sighed. "Sure. Now get outta my house." He grumbled. The man walked off, turning back to look at Papa Acachalla. "One week." He repeated. "One week."