Dread Pirate Zviggles

The Dread Pirate Zviggles is, of course, a pirate. He has an accent, but he can repress it when needed. He robs a bank/hospital with Amii.

Amii
He works with her to rob the bank/hospital. She is very fond of him and/or his name, remarking when he tells her his name, "Aw, I love Zviggles. Oh, you're so cute," and then, some words that resemble "your name Zviggles" or something. The feelings don't seem to be mutual, though, as he responds, "Oh, you're like a chew toy, you just keep squeeking."

Johnny Toast
He is one of the guards at the bank/hospital.

First Plan
Amii tries to charm the guards with such elegant remarks as "Hey, there, big boy" and "You're ugly, but I like your hat," while Zviggles tried to sneak around the back, but he discovers that there is no space or time behind the bank/hospital, so that plan didn't work.

Second Plan
Zviggles acts like a little boy named Tommy Tom Tom Tom Tom (give or take a few Toms), while Amii acts like Zviggles's elderly mother taking him in for his checkup. The guards seemed to buy it, though, he was terrible at acting sick. One of them takes him outside to drive him to a hospital, even though they were already in one, which causes Zviggles to protest against it a little. The guard slams into walls a few times, going basically nowhere, and then says they've arrived. Zviggles remarks about how it was the same hospital, then moved to the back seat, up to the driver's seat and drove off, but slammed into the building across the street.

Third Plan (if you can call it a plan)
Amii dies, which caused a odd series of thoughts that caused him to run into the bank/hospital, knife swinging. He killed one of them and almost killed the other before dying, but the first guard cheated (but whatever) and came back.

Fourth Plan
Amii suggests going to the opera house, but Zviggles realizes the perfect plan, questioning why he didn't think of it earlier. He tells Amii go across the street and start a hoedown, remarking how they can't resist a hoedown. She doesn't know what that means, so he explains how it is an American celebration of dance and says that she will figure it out. He then tells her to say there is free chicken, which causes the guards to run over with glee. While the guards are away, Zviggles runs to the bank/hospital, but there is a vending machine in the way of the door, which frustrates him; he then removes it and enters. One of the guards gets thirsty, goes inside, and catches Zviggles with the money. The guard asks him if he is the new janitor and Zviggles responds, "Yup, just cleaning up, you kind of left everything kind of messy." Suspicious, the guard asks if he is cleaning the room with all the money, but, fortunately, Zviggles had gone into the other room, he was able to just say, "No, I'm cleaning the other room," which was true, so when the other guard came back and checked, he saw that he was not lying and Zviggles didn't seem even more suspicious. He calls Amii and tells her that he needed another distraction, so she screamed, "I'm dying!" They gave her money to aid her medically. This bought them just enough time to runoff with the money and for Zviggles to get inside their base, but Amii died right at the door. The guards went in to the base and killed him, but he already won.