Thread:XxFallenshadowxx/@comment-26552238-20170602053041/@comment-28885584-20170603044502

Fun time!

(rated T for I am creating this off the top of my head)

(also this is a crackfic)

Once there was a barnacle

his BFF was a llama named 57

who at one point mind controlled lama's

anyway, this barnacle was born on July 13, 1478

this year, his BFF 57 decided to get him a present.

he used all but one of a species of ancient magic sunflowers

to turn into a human.

As a human, he raised 10 grand in cash

by posing as a celebrity.

he used this 10 grand to start a research company.

it researched the fabric of spacetime.

one day, while doing some psychometrics with kidnapped children

(because how else you gonna get them govt. grants)

they accidentally ripped open space-time

into a reality with a giant evil monster in it.

after successfully closing the tear in space-time,

unfortunately with some deaths,

57 decides to go start a fast food restaurant.

after murdering a kid to try to make some good pizza,

he went bankrupt.

he got a new donor and tried again, in which this time he was less picky about the age

he got some robot helpers.

people thought they smelled, so he tried a third time

he had misprogrammed a robot and it bit someone

he tried again but lost all his revenue and shut down.

some kid tried to copy him a while later and got sued by 57

after his home burnt down of course (the kid)

so then 57 tries to open a different version, but the robots escaped cause they disagreed with how his people pizza had been made, and thought it shoulda been sweeter

57 then got facial surgery and started an

incredibly deadly reality tv show

was later forced to retire because he suggested murder too many times

he then got hired to work for a super secret govt. the organization

he then got fired for releasing some demons and singing a remix of who let the dogs out.

then it's the barnacles birthday and the llama was like

"Your present was that you motivated me to get a job"

the barnacle was so happy he cried (from joy) himself to death

...

...

then the llama ate his corpse because that was his plan all along.